At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
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