I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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