I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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