what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
