Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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