If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
