Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
