so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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