oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
