We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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