we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
