ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
