Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
