I skipped work to stalk him.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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