I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I need water and some morals
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
