He asked to "fluff my boner.."
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
