i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
