so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
