This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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