Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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