i don't plan on having that self control this summer
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
This is my gift to your gina
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
