Everything about him screamed your future.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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