i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Dear god my vagina.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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