i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
