foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
