So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
