you're like a bully in the Christmas story
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
