At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
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