woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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