The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
