This is not my ceiling
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
BRING THE BAGELS
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