can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
