We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
