Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
