We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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