In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
we should paint friendship bongs
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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