I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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