Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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