Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
