Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i was born a porn star she said
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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