After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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