1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
