did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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