He disabled his match.com account in front of me
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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