Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
