I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
