yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
