if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
