I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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