You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
