from now on my penis is your penis
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
you inspire me to be a worse person
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
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