Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
