oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
