now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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