How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
