So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
