So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
