He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
