What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
