Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
