Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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