This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
