In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
